Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Ashura - History and Significance

Pre-Script : I normally avoid writing or speaking in public on matters I am less informed or lack the capability to defend my own understanding before others. Though Muharram or rather the day of Ashura was one of those topics till yesterday, Alhamdulillah I have somewhat a clear understanding of the day’s significance, its history and the mountains of myths and the moles of facts surrounding it. This post is seriously not a dictation or what Muslims do or are supposed to do, it’s my understanding and I am sharing it with the world. Anyone who feels I am wrong at my reasoning can very well share their views so we may have a better understanding from all points of views. After all we all strive to be better for here and hereafter.

Day of Ashura, the 10th of Muharram (first month of Islamic calendar) has great significance throughout Islamic history. It’s a notable fact that Islamic New Year starts from the very first day of the month of Muharram but still Muslims keep fast on Ashura i.e 10th of Moharram and a day before it or a day after it. It’s because there is no concept of any New Year celebration in Islam (as if a new cycle of the moon around earth will affect the stars in your constellation!) and fasting on Ashura is not synonyms to celebrating New Year.

According to me a new year, irrespective of it’s guiding planet, religion, state or country, does not change your life, your family, your resolution s or anything or anyone around you. It even does not change your academic year. So if everything remains same, what’s the point celebrating a day which likes all others day in the calendar, will come back on the same day next year too! Honestly I see no point in making resolutions, going partying or having Pizza with family on New Year coz that something I can do any day in the whole year. And avoiding all these saves a lot of money. Trust me! Again these are my points.

Coming back to Ashura. In India and may be a lot of countries abroad, Muharram for some part of Muslim community, is reduced to wearing black, cutting yourself, crying and mourning loud in Public and carrying beautiful Tajiyas from one place to another. And all this in the name of remembering the Martyrdom of Hazrat Hussain (R.A.), the Grandson of our beloved Prophet Huzur S.A.W.

Firstly, the fasting on Ashura is what our Prophet followed in his lifetime due to its historic significance. It actually started when once our beloved Prophet (S.A.W.) observed Jews fasting and asked them the reason of fasting on Ashura. They told that Hazrat Musa (A.S.) fasted on this day out of gratitude since on this very day Allah delivered to them and saved him and his family from Pharoah and Pharoah’s army was drowned. And as any Muslim will know how closer we are to Hazrat Musa (A.S.), Prophet fasted on that day and asked us to fast (not obligatory) too but on two days instead of a single day so that we may be prevented from following what’s not our religion. (As related in Bukhari and Shahi Muslim)

As Hazrat Hussain (R.A.) was martyred long after Prophet left us to carry our deen ourselves, it is clear that his fasting had no connection with the Martyrdom of Hazrat Hussain (R.A.). And it’s not something he asked us to observe before he completed our religion on us.

(Allah (God) says: Today I have perfected your "Deen"(way of life), and have completed my favor upon you (mankind) and have chosen for you Islam (Submission to the will of God) as your "Deen"(way of life) (Quran 5:3)


An addition to the Prophet's tradition will only mislead us, knowingly or unknowingly.

Secondly, the reason behind fasting on Ashura is reflecting our love and gratitude for Allah and acknowledging what he has provided us and provided our Prophets and their followers in the past.

Thirdly, can someone really think that our great Lord will like us to be in pain, to wear black, to mourn and to cut our self? Is Lord that unmerciful? Certainly Not. He is the Most Compassionate, the Most Merciful. He understand the pain we go through on losing a beloved so he has prescribed mourning, which is not bad but has restricted that to 3 days, a mere 3 days so that we may understand the cycle of life and move on with the pain and strive better for here and hereafter.

Muhammad (saws) who said: ‘It is not permitted for a woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day to mourn for any dead person for more than three days, except for a husband, (in which case the period of mourning is) four months and ten days. (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 4926).

Then why all this mourning suddenly on the day of Ashura? Why there is all this cutting and shouting on the day we are supposed to keep fast and reflect on ourselves. Is it just that from all the days in the year we only remember the bravery of Hazrat Hussain (R.A.) on the day of Ashura? That we forget the values which Hazrat Hussain (R.A.) cultivated in him on all other days? Is our love for him is of only one day? Again NO! We love him, his bravery, his values, his love for Islam, his concern for the next generations of Islam, his aim and vision for which he sacrificed his life, his determination of not bowing down before falsehood, throughout the year.

I do feel sad that the early generations of Islam were prevented from enjoying his caliphate and direction too soon. But I am also one who certainly believes that crying is not going to benefit the soul of Prophet’s grandson. It’s remembering, treasuring and cultivating his values, character and direction in ourselves. If you really love Hazrat Hussain (R.A.), in my opinion, you should live him in yourself and not drain him in your blood and pain.

And as I quoted earlier our deen has already been completed on us and everything after that is Biddah. Mourning is not only wrong but it’s also repelling us from observing one of the most grateful of grateful days, Day of Ashura which our Prophet loved to observe. Of course I am aware of Biddat-e-Husna concept but I don’t see any good in observing mourning, moreover are we more learned than the early generations of Sahabis, if not yes, then when and which of the Sahabis observed Ashura like Muslims do today?

Finally, I have been pointing all through that this day is a day to be grateful about, indeed it is, and we get a lot of reason to observe Lord’s bounty on us on this day.

  • On this day: Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) accepted the repentance of Sayyidina Adam ('Alaihis-Salaam) after his exile from Paradise;
  • Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) saved Sayyidina Nuh ('Alaihis-Salaam) and his companions in the ark;
  • Allah extinguished the fire in which Sayyidina Ibrahim ('Alaihis-Salaam) was thrown by Nimrod;
  • And Allah (Subhanahu wa Ta'ala) spoke directly to Sayyidina Musa ('Alaihis-Salaam) and gave him the Commandments.
  • On this same 10th of Muharram, Sayyidina Ayyub ('Alaihis-Salaam) was restored to health (from leprosy);
  • Sayyidina Yusuf ('Alaihis-Salaam) was reunited with his father Ya’qub ('Alaihis-Salaam); Sayyidina Yunus ('Alaihis-Salaam) was taken out from the belly of the fish;
  • and the sea was divided as the nation of israel was delivered from captivity and Pharoah’s army was destroyed.
  • ‘Ashura is also the day when Sayyidina Dawud ('Alaihis-Salaam) was forgiven; the kingdom of Sulaiman ('Alaihis-Salaam) was restored;
  • Sayyidina Isa ('Alaihis-Salaam) was raised to Jannah and Sayyidina al-Husayn (Radiyallahu 'anh) (the Holy Prophet’s, Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa Sallam, grandson) achieved the honor of Martyrdom.
(These are mentioned as what scholars have determined as the specialties of that day in Ghunya li-Talibi Tariq al-Haqq, Sayyidina Abdul Qadir al-Jilani)

The benefits of this fasting are also numerous. Huge enough to get you out of bed before fazr on the next Ashura.

After All this, let us pray that Allah guide all of us to the right path and we strive harder to be a Perfect Muslim as what was our beloved Prophet Huzur (Sallallahu ‘alayhi wa Sallam), on this day of Ashura. Aameen!

Monday, December 21, 2009

I walk ahead, Leaving you to trace

Pre-Script : The topic is not new or unheard of. In fact, it's the one debated uncountable times ending on some absurd solutions every time. The biggest failure of "man"kind have been the disrespect of it's better half. For long women have suffered, subjected and kept patience. But not anymore. Things are changing. Slowly, yet transforming. It's a tribute to the longest war ever fought. "She" is winning and you have to notice that. "I" in the poem is the soul of women speaking to the Man (you) who held her as subjected for long.




I walk among you
My head held high
Altering the age-old notion
I walk towards sky

And I walk fast
As you try to race
Yes! I am ahead
Leaving you to trace

I have learn the art
Well before you predicted
I have set myself free
Of the chains you invented

I demanded my place
And before you could reject
I tried to stand
Only to walk this perfect

I have beaten you dead
In your own game
Perhaps, u made a mistake
When you called me lame

The pain and agony
I endured on your birth
Accumulated for long
Showing its worth

You tried oppression
You practiced strength
The atrocities you carried
Lasted centuries length

The more you tortured
The stronger I have hit your face
I now walk ahead
Leaving you to trace


A gentle Reminder :

Be careful of your duty toward God in Whom ye claim (your rights) of one another, and toward the wombs (that bear you)" (Quran 4:1).



Updates:
#1 Something is wrong with my pen..it's not working and i am not writing :( I wrote this poem in pencil :P
#2 My one year of hijab is gonna complete in 10 days. The countdown starts from today. yay! but i can't think of anything to write :(. Blame my pen.
#3 My visitors crossed over 1000. Actually its 1110 right now. what a number sirji! Thanku , thanku, thanks a lot to all my visitors for reading my rantings.
#4 I just realized i am ranting in a post i should not *shut mouth with both hands* (as if someone reading this small script. Duh!

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

United Countless States of India

Our Parents lived with their Parents, Uncles, Aunts, Cousins, Grandparents in a Big joint family. To fill more color to the picture of life they lived in harmony with their neighbors in village, city, and state in fact across the border, just as they lived in a family.

But then, we grew up. ‘We’ as in “we human civilization”. It took a leap towards development. And we designed a more economical, easy and in- alls’ -interest way of living – living in a nuclear family. But again we were not happy.

Dividing families did not satisfy us. So we kept a distance from our neighbors. For, of course, reason due to time – constraint. Time is precious and it is something not to waste on good for nothing reasons. We took the concept of nuclear family seriously, very seriously.


Human wants are endless. And we moved a step ahead. We asked the brothers born in different cities (who care if we have the same country’s passport) to kindly vacate our aamchi city. They didn’t heed so we had to bend our finger, for we can’t allow someone else to skim the cream. Cream in which they had a lawful share.

End of surprises will bring monotony. So we demanded a Telangana. We have right to do so. The right to develop. We will next day ask for Poorv/Paschim, Uttar/Dakhin Aanchal. Small highly developed regions of the UNITED COUNTLESS STATES OF INDIA. Only if we not get started with the demand of different nations.

For the same reason our parents separated from family - to take care of us. We have to get rid of them to cater to our future development.


I at times wonder “How many more holes in the "aanchal"? Are we not going back to the Stone Age when it was just the cave, cave-mommy, cave-daddy and cave-kids? Are we not losing on our human traits? Are we not underestimating the quality of most superior beings on earth – the quality to think? How are we going to survive without our joint family?

It’s not just about Telangana; a small hole only gets wider and wider if not stitched in time. Development and the demand for development are on a very high pace, sadly towards the opposite direction. If things remain the same, there will be a third world war . Every human rejecting to live with other human as "human". And so, the fourth will line up too, only to be fought with sticks and stones.

Friday, December 4, 2009

Beauty and the Differences

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” so said Shakespeare. And so followed the world. And like all great legends Shakespeare died making his verse immortal, though the effects of the same were buried with him.

Beauty is one thing which is
not at all subjective and clearly doesn’t reside in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty is what models show off. It is what the top fashion designer wants on the ramp. It is how the mushrooming gyms and fitness centers making profit. It is why the girls are starving and guys are obsessed with 6 packs. It is what the mass think is beautiful – not what you perceive it to be. If you are fair, have tons of makeup, with size zero figure and the scantiest of rags on you (for females) or 6-8 packs crafted on your stomach (for males) then congrats, you just score 10/10 in the beauty most-wanted-requirements list.

I am sure many will contradict it saying, that isn’t beauty, and I have this notion or that notion. True, everyone indeed, has a different definition of beauty. I am not denying that. But hardly people have guts to live with their notion and express freely what they sense beauty as. Artist (from all fields) may be shortlisted for it. But here I am talking of the majority. The majority flows with the trend. The trend set by handful of powerful and obsessed beings.

The discrimination with black models, the sudden race of being in the Bebo size, the increasing sale of fair and lovely, the fresh stock of slim jeans, the fat-free cheese (kidding me?), the search for a fair-and-slim bride for the son of the house, etc. are just few daily life example which we all can witness. The list is just never ending and the hazards of such a beauty are even more deadly than our imagination.
Literally causing death.
Former Miss Argentina, Solange Magnano died at a Buenos Aires medical center last Sunday, after undergoing a plastic surgery procedure.

Solange, who won the Miss Argentina pageant in 1994, suffered a pulmonary embolism when liquid was being injected into her buttocks the day after she underwent a gluteoplasty (buttock implant). The liquid reportedly entered her lungs and brain, killing her instantly.

No points for guessing that the above post prompted me to write this post. Additional information: I have experienced the pain of beauty. John Keats should have defined beauty before labeling it as “a thing of joy”.

I was born with what I will prefer to call a birth mark on my fingers. Or what others call as a
deformity. It was just a translucent skin joining two fingers of my each hand. But this became a matter of my future, as what my dear simple (or among the majority) relatives thought. Doctors gained from my loss and I underwent surgery. Not once or twice but thrice in just early 13 years of my life. Things turned worse. My fingers bent, then were straightened again, though in a different way and are now decorated with surgical marks, thanks for the carelessness from the sides of doctor and complexity of the case (bones now being involved). But the worst have been the loss on my studies, time, blood, health, and the immense pain I have been into because of others notion of beauty.

And just a few days back,
under pressure from some really caring relatives and beauty-obsessed people I again agreed to undergo a 6 month long pain process - called plastic surgery - for my fingers. But thankfully, because of some sudden unexpected turns of events and self realization I dropped the idea. I am not again sacrificing myself for others’ whims. Especially now, when I am the sole responsible for my decisions. I know I am beautiful, because God made me so and because I can feel that inside.

Though the above whole narrative talks about my personal experience, I am sure many will be able to quote one or the other instance where they had to try hard to fit in the famous so called beauty’s definition. This is driving all crazy and knowingly or unknowingly we are just contributing to it. We are the one who are driving the craze further by being a part of it.

No matter however cheesy it may sound,
I will still hold that real beauty is the beauty of heart. Presentation may matter but not your skin color or the brand of your cloths. It’s just so secondary. For a quick litmus test, ask yourself how beautiful is your best friend, and if he/she will still be your best friend if he/she don’t look all that gorgeous? Will you dislike your brother or sister for being a tone darker? Will you hate the subject just because your teacher doesn’t wear a Victoria Secret? Of course, NO.

Thankfully, still we somehow value what is more important than beauty. The need is only to strengthen the feeling, and make it scope wider so as to cover not only those who are close, but everyone. If only we stop judging people on their beauty and start looking what lies beyond that. Applying our definition of beauty (the one covering our parents, siblings and teachers) will work too. And there is definitely no need to get discouraged if some people want the whole world to be painted white and crafted perfectly.


God gave us the differences so we may identify others, not to categorize them. (Essence of the Quranic Verse 49:13)


Let’s learn to respect ours and others’ differences and the world will turn to be a
beautiful place to live in.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hijab Woes

It was a well planned, supposed-to-be-surprise, get together of our whole gang-of-girls for a friend cum ex-colleague cum classmate who happened to be in town today. The only thing which ran through my mind the whole day, among the secret murmuring and kiddish surprise planning, was how the person’s reaction is going to be after he sees me. Come on don’t get me wrong, I know that we the fairer-sex are famous for being extra self- conscious when it comes to our presentation and get-ups but this was different.

I was uncertain of his reaction when he will see me in hijab suddenly after full one year. Who can imagine the girl with the flowy open long hairs to be suddenly covered in scarf neatly tucked at her head? I prepared myself for all type of questions and remarks which may follow later in the evening maslan How?? When?? What ?? You looking different..Pakka muslim.. naive.. everything.. and I prepared myself for not feeling uneasy which normally happens when I meet long forgotten friends again, and they see a complete new me with that bewildered look on their face.

But, however, as fate may have it…I was left with mouth wide open and a upset feeling gripping me when my friend suddenly declared.."Ab to tujhe koi pasand nahi karega (Now no one is going to like you).."

I was upset…come on who will be happy if you tell them they look miserable.

I was shocked…like helloo?? I am not doing this so that someone starts liking me..Neither am I gonna remove it just because no one is going to like me..I am doing this for God..and He will look in my best interest…

So did I really tell him all what flashed in my mind that very second?

No. I didn’t. I don’t have to. Honestly speaking, firstly, I am tired of advocating and supporting my decision.. wish I can just wear a scarf with the message:

“It’s my Choice..so no matter what you think…KEEP AWAY”

Can anyone really think that I put on that scarf over my head without looking at myself in the mirror?? I am aware of what I am wearing and with all its practical and social impacts, still I CHOOSE to wear it. It’s a matter of choice. A STRONG ONE. Try respecting it and if you can’t keep your judgments to yourself.

Secondly, I didn’t want to make the happy environment tensed. May be some other time, if I get a chance again.

But the whole thing really did put me off. So much for a magical piece of cloth. Sigh!

Sleepless Nights


As i type this post, my mobile-cum-watch is teasing me with a time of 4:15 a.m...indeed it's late to be awake at this hour..when i am again supposed to get up by 6..and spend my 8 hours of day in bonded laborship...I can only pray that this seemingly never ending sleepless nights turns into a peaceful nap... eternal?? at this point of time..it hardly matters...


Still A Sleepless night..

Conversing with stars of my

Tragic tales, I cry



P.S. It is filed under Picture Perfect Tales only because i found the pic too beautiful to be disturbed by my silly verses - output of an over-burdened brain.

P.P.S. You believe it or not...you can take the Poet out of the Haiku but not the Haiku out of the Poet...complicated?? I am back with the Haiku.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Tricky Life

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Eid-ul-Azha Mubaaraq

Belated Mubaaraqbaad of Eid-ul-Azha....May Allah Subhanotaa'la showers His blessings on all of you and your's family ...Hope the divine message of this auspicious day reaches to each and every heart..and we learn to understand and practice the very basic traits of human nature.. love and sacrifice..


EID-ul-Azha brings for the Muslims divine blessing, an occasion to not only enjoy but also to receive Allah's Mercy and reward through sacrifice and benevolence, patience and constancy.

Eid-ul-Azha is celebrated on the tenth of Dhul-Hijja through sacrifices and prayers in memory of the sacrifice of the Prophets Ibrahim Khalilullah and Ismail Zabihullah (peace be upon them). It does not simply commemorate the unique sacrifice made by them, it also testifies eloquently to the way in which both father and son cheerfully offered to suffer any self-sacrifice, however painful or difficult it might be, in order to obey the command of Allah, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the Worlds.

The glorious attempt of Hazrat Ibrahim to slaughter his son Hazrat Ismail (peace be upon them) as a sacrifice in obedience to God's Command, stands unique in the annals of history. Never, never indeed, has any other father tried unhesitatingly to slaughter his own son with his own hands, and in full senses, simply to obey the Master's Command. Never in history has any other son submitted himself whole-heartedly to his father to be sacrificed only to appease God.

This incident in the valley of Mina put an end to the horrible system of human sacrifice, which was common among most ancient people. Prophet Ibrahim's (pbuh) seeing in a vision that he, too, was sacrificing his son, his preparation to fulfill it literally, and the Divine Commandment to sacrifice an animal in his stead, indeed marked the abolition of the savage custom of human sacrifice.

Hundreds and thousands of sheep, cows, goats and camels are sacrificed in the name of Allah on this auspicious day. Unfortunately, however, very few of us celebrate this auspicious occasion in a befitting way, in the true spirit of Islam. Very few realise that Rabbul Alameen does not need the flesh and blood of the animals. What he asks for is the taqwa (which has been mentioned 211 times in the Holy Quran) and not lives in a physical sense. Sura al-Hajj declares very clearly: "It is not their meat nor their blood that reaches God: it is your piety that reaches Him. He has thus made them subject to you, that ye may glorify God for His guidance to you. And proclaim the good news to all who do right."

Eid-ul-Azha is the system of denying ourselves the greater part of the food derived from the sacrificed cattle for the sake of our poor brethren; our symbolic act finds practical expression in benevolence and in fraternity and fellow-feeling, in sacrifice and solicitude for the indigents and have-nots. That exactly is the sublime message conveyed by Eid-ul-Azha.

- An excerpt from the Article "The message of Eid-ul-Azha" by "Syed Ashraf Ali" who is a former Director General, Islamic Foundation, published here.


Off the topic : have you ever fallen ill during festivals...specially when you are allowed to take leave from office only twice a year in the name of festivals...well no points for guessing that it happened to me...sometimes i can bet that when everything is just perfect and nothing can go wrong, in my case, it has to be full on illusion..i slept the whole day and ate medicines..yukk!!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Confused

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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Something really Unnecessary

Its really unnecessary whatever i am going to write now..but if you read..i might like it...

I am going through a pretty hard phase of my life..which is quite clear from my previous posts..I just pray to Allah that He gives me the strength and power to stand this ordeal..and i start facing myself again..yes its not something i am fighting to the outside world..its something within i am struggling to get over...and i hope sincerely for it to get over.. I cant see people around me trying hard to make me feel good..their trying make me weak..it makes me feel as i am still being selfish by not answering their persuasion to be happy....I really want to...

But a battle with your own heart is the most difficult battle to win..you know your enemy so well that you often forget by which side and for whom you you are fighting..you play from both sides...and so you lose half the battle even if somehow you manage to win the other half..the victory will not be satisfying because a part of you will fail...Your failure is so pre-written...nothing works..no weapons..no strategies...you cant hide..you cant run..you cant bow and you have to stand the whole battle...no matter whatever it takes..

I am fighting one..

But God has been kuch zyada hi merciful and in such a horrible time too he has blessed me with two very rare species of homo sapeins to stand by me..the only two people who are there with me in all situations...My two best friends..My mom and my only true friend....don't know whether i should write the name also....They listen, they advice and at times they shout and pretend they have left me...but then they come back..knowing i am too weak to stand....they are my strength...where else will i find people like this...

In all this i am trying to do away with some small petty things...first is the blog template..its too complicated..and i want my life too look a bit simple even if it just the blog...enough of mess is already there which i am not able to clear....no more mess on blog..

I am trying to give a new name to the blog..The old one is good...but may be ..i think it should find a way in the above list....i have thought of "THE 19th PARAGRAPH" with the caption" ..of my life.. Fact, Fiction, & Everything in Between"..

there are two reason to chose this name...first i am 19 so the para thing (Yes! its going to be changed every year at my b'day)...

second..i deleted the other blog so all the mess which i intend to create on blogger will find a place only under this present url....and so the caption is not only suitable its classy too :)

If you have better ideas please let me know :)

I don't know what is going to happen next..coz life's train has suddenly taken a hilly route and i am afraid...hope the changes will help me survive...and yes the blog is not the only thing i am trying to change...Its mainly ME whom i am trying to change...

I need to grow up..and i think what they say that knowledge comes with experience is somehow right..I think this is how i am going to learn..the painful way...but atleast an enriching route to light...

Saturday, November 21, 2009

I feel you around me, like air

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The bubbling water washing my feet
The setting sun reddening peek
And the breeze lifting my hair
I feel you around me, like air


The deafening silence of solitude
The growing night bluing mood
The chilling wind touching my body bare
I feel you around me, like air


I feel you when I breathe,
When I walk, when I sleep
I feel you when I am alone
When in a group, when I am home


I feel you when I am down
When I am happy, when I frown
I feel you living in my soul,
In my heart, somewhere very close


The words won’t let you know
Neither the tears which mourn
On how much I miss you
On how much I love you



But believe me I swear, always
I feel you around me, like air



** Little does a person knows when his words become so situational..so realistic...so hurting..

Friday, November 20, 2009

The situation

You know of the situations....when you look up at things...and they are messed up....fully, completely, totally..

and the reason they are so is somehow you...your selfishness..your whims...your needs... your attitude... your wrong decision... your meanness... your childishness... your inconsistencies...

and you know of people whom you have hurt like anything....when you actually never meant to do that..when your nafs controlled you...rather you controlling your nafs...and when you are sorry to the mortals as much as you are sorry to your God....

when you wanna go back in the time..and rub the whole past....the past being long enough to result in such a big mess...when you know nothing NOTHING in the world shall make things right....

when the things you have been hiding..the things which prove how weak and selfish you have been...those things which bear a proof of your wrong doings...those things which shout so loud that you shut your eyes rather than your ears in order to ignore them....the things which bear enough evidence that you no longer deserve to be human...because you have never acted like one before....

when you are sorry...but you know that that its the smallest thing you can do..that your sorry is of no use to anyone..when you wanna go and die..but you know you are weak again...when you wanna hide..but you know you cant run from realities...when everything is crystal clear...but you dont want them so..

when you are sorry..and you cant say or convey so....when you know this is what you ever deserved in exchange of your doings....but still somehow..somehow you want the things to be right..perfect again..

but this time not for your selfishness or your good..but you want them too be good for those people whom you have hurt..and who have suffered because of you..knowingly or unknowingly...when you are ready to compromise everything to see them happy..

And yet you don't find a way...

Have you ever been in such a situation??? Or is it just me??

Friday, July 17, 2009

I am Honest...you see



I am tagged…and that also with the “HONEST SCRAP” yay me :D :D …thanku sis Nazia for tagging me with this one…atleast it gives a security that my ramblings are read :D :D ….well let those comments flowing too…it make me blabber more…. :P


So this “honest Scrap” thingy requires that I gather you guys and start telling you one by one full TEN things about me…whether you know it or you don’t :P…but yes they have to be true…u see “honest” duhhh….and then I will choose any lucky TEN people among you and will tag you with the same..so that you can go ahead with a free fokat ka blog post :D :D and torture your reader .. :D :D don’t forget to pass it on and let the honesty flowing….please do tell the person that they are tagged…else it ll stop the great vansh of Honest Scrap… :P Also put the above Pic on your post just for identity purpose…it dint carry a pic..when it came to me…so the great me designed it :) :)

So here I go.....


1. I totally Love Floaters…I mean they are the best innovation in footwear ever made…they are comfy, they carry a great look, their strap doesn go off when you are running behind a bus..and they don’t give you those skin-peeing shoe bites……they are just awesome…

I HAVE THE PINK ONE :)


And I hate all those who think floaters don’t go with Salwaar-Kameez…they totally go..and if u think otherwise…come down to Chennai and meet CA doing girls…you ll understand how fashionable they are ;)…I even can carry it with Abaya…I do also :P :P lol….

2. I am too sensitive….I get crying on small things…and I get too happy at others..it doesn’t matter for me …how big or small it is….I think I let my emotions flow the way they want too…but I am trying to control my anger….So if you know me ..please don’t hurt me…you have no idea how deep will it be cutting me.

3. Having said that…I am really confident of myself…I think I am blessed..I mean everyone is..but Allah has always been kind to me ..For some or the other reason…I have been blessed with the best set of people in life helping me out from the worst set of situations….not only this..i have amazed myself a lot of times by my bold decision…and no boosting here..honestly..

4. I dress good when I am sick….i totally pamper my self when I am down…I eat chocolates…talk to old friends…find myself story books…indulge in makeup and all those girly stuff..i even wear those girly sandals which give me shoe-bites…just to look good….coz it makes me feel better and love myself more.

5. I always wanted to open a school for poor children..so that they can get education….and Inshallah I will do it..i don’t want to be a teacher but I want to do this….there are so many who needs somebody….but we don’t lend a helping hand..i don’t know why…


6. I hate Pimples..everyone does..but I hate them most….i really walla hate them….imagine if it is only the skin colored face of yours to be seen….(in hijab) and the whole attention of the person before you is on your face….how crummy it will be if a red, ugly pimple pop out of your beautiful skin, laughing at you, mocking you and not willing to go….*nightmare*



7. I put emphasis on presentation..be it a project…a presentation..a gift wrap..food…even it is only to satisfy my hunger….a dress…or anything in world…everything should have that extra bit on it..so that it satisfy my eyes….colors are exactly what I love…bright..fluorescent…or dark…doesn matter…the more the color the better it is for me…I believe the million colors of the world are merely not for us to differentiate stuffs but to enjoy and appreciate their beauty..

8. I have a little angel and devil combo in my house….my lil sis FIZA….I totally love her..not that I don’t love Zaid :D :D ….i ll give my life for him :) :)..but this small wonder has never left me wondering if all the brains in the world has been condensed and stuffed in her little skull….she is an Einstein…the cuter girly version of him….she is smart in all sense…akhir behen kiski hai ;)..here is she in my abaya and scarf…*I totally hate when someone touches my stuff but then this was willingly done*


FIZU


9. I am sick at this time….i got cold…I totally mess up my self when I have cold…I don’t carry a hanky….am not used to it….but this cold make me do so…then this stupid cold gets fever following it and headache and then body ache…and then a D’Cold tablet :D :D

Actually I live on tablets…I ll always have Disprin and Pudeen hara with me….my life saving drugs…paracetamol at times makes way to my purse too.

A CUTIE DARLING - JUST ONE DAY OLD (My lovely frnd's lovely niece):)


10. I love babies and dream of having four..:D :D lol….i cant resist if I see a cute baby anywhere….at market place, home, workplace anywhere…if the baby is cute..everything else is off my attention list… I feel only babies are the most pure at heart and so are the most beautiful creature on earth.

Class over….Here’s the tag being passed on to the lucky 10

1. JaLpArI (Almas Aapi)
2. Sis Kakchik
3. Princess Nuchu
4. Sis Malizea à l'adresse
5. Sis Baran
6. Symphonic Discord (to all the gurls over there)
7. Saim
8. Arun
9. Chirag
10. Stephen

P.S.
I tried cheating for this post by asking my friends to list down stuff for me… :D :D …but then I am hardly satisfied so I sat down writing stuff about myself…there is a lot of stuff I din’t say…ll say when I ll be tagged next time :P :D

Monday, July 13, 2009

How about a hearty laugh today ?


Now...its time for some ramblings (Dhir, according to The Free Dictionary it means "Lengthy and digressive", which i feel is the wrong definition; don't believe 'em they are free ;) :P )....

This weekend my mail box was full of surprises...umm lovin it....

am tagged...tagged..for teh second time...yuuuuuhooooooooo.....its THE "Honest Scrap" Award gifted by the lovely Sister Nazia...She has a really honest and outspoken blog out there...(which, by the way, may not interest all but is one of my fav)..more about this tag in the next post when i have enough time....

This post is dedicated to Vatsap and his master Caricature of mine... :D :D I rolled over laughing....it's really PHUNNY...and ya i am still doubtful if it looks like me :-@

Nevertheless...it's funny..




Temme....if it looks like me ..in any snese..except that dupattah on my head *those who have seen me* or if you are in a shock and ll neva eva want to meet me :( :( *those who are still awaiting their fortune to see me ;)*

In any case...your valuable and honest comments are welcome...

Get your own one done here and send em at my mail or upload it on your blog or courier to me....anything..it's upon you..but i really wanna see you all out there in colourful line drawing ;)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

If you are happy..CLAP YOUR HANDS :D

I am extreeeeeeaammlllllllyyyyy happy today..the extent of the word “extreme” can’t define my happiness...I don’t’ know if it’s a mood swing…I don’t care if it is one…it’s a refreshing change though..A welcome one…

After full one week of sheer depression and my negative side overpowering my positive one…it is really like the first rain in Chennai in this scorching heat….I was so into depression that I might have done something to myself…I was crying..and crying….and crying..and just wanted to go to Allah to find peace…

But I think instead of that…Allah chose to come to me …and that has resulted in this Happiness…



I really don’t know what’s the reason but I am happy..All day long I was happy…not even a single thought of depression..not a single reason of sadness touched me…It was all the happy, cheery merry vibes touching me …and I was so much into it…I am really loving it :)

I never wanted to write this here …but blog surely deserve it…I mean I tortured my colleagues, friends, mom..even Fizu with this sudden happiness and still I have so much left that I am passing it to my paradise…so that it can reach u all guys… :) :)


People get up from your comfy and not so comfy chairs and sing with me…


If you are happy and you know it

CLAP YOUR HANDS


If you are happy and you know it

CLAP YOUR HANDS

If you are happy and you know it then your face will surely show it


If you are happy and you know it

CLAP YOUR HANDS


*claps claps* :D :D :D



I know ..kinda strange and sudden mood swing…but I just can’t tell you how welcomed it is…


So much that Li took videos of me cracking silliest joke on earth, jumping around in happiness and making weird faces…I even made the hutch dog one face ..*awwwwwwww choooo cute*..


Sangy and others were totally shocked..can’t say if the vibe touched them..they were shocked more than happy :D All those who spoke to me on phone or did chat with me (shanu, saim, angel..) all were shocked…and awesome-ly happy….

Yup AWESOME-LY is a word…as in Awesome-ly wonderful :)

I even told world about it ..

Not only this

I got to know that Brillianto and superbo are words too :D (Courtesy: Saim)


Mom is sick of me singing songs in the highest pitch I can, and jumping around like a rabbit :D …I even taught Fizu that when she make “zid” (that is if when she gets stubborn) regarding a specific thing..she should not only repeat it thrice but should also tap her feet on earth thrice :D :D like I was doing…

Mujhe purse chahiye

Mujhe purse chahiye

Mujhe purse chahiye

She repeated:


Mujhe top chahiye

Mujhe top chahiye

Mujhe top chahiye


(taps her feet as she says ) :D:D

See…she learns fast ..:D :D


Dad was wondering who is younger…19 year old me …or soon to be 8 year old she :D :D



Summary of the story is that I AM HAPPY
Let’s celebrate it with the lines which I wrote in one breath due to my excessive dose of happiness:

Come on baby

I have been waiting for you all my life

When I first took a breath

To the last minute, I will die

Come on Sweetheart

Escort me to the world unseen

A world of you and me

Where dreams are in
:D :D

Yay me :D :D



P.S. Thanks to all those who have been there with me last week....:)i could have not made it sans u all :)

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Stabbed in the Court of Justice


World is Bad. It’s the worst world ever. Kalyug for sure. And its hell bad for all those who want to live in peace. I can’t express my sorrow, anger, agitation and god knows what all over the recent incident where a girl was murdered in front of whole court for the simple reason that she demanded to practice her religion.


Hijab, a simple piece of cloth is becoming such a big issue..that my blog seems to be overdosed with it..one by one..one by one some retard will come out of his snake-hole finding all the world’s fault in that simple piece of cloth over an innocent girl’s head. This time I thought I ll blog in peace..not complaining..not finding faults with other but then peace is alien to this world and my blog is no exception to this.


Yes I am angry, very angry and the reason is the brutal murder of Dr. Marwa El Sherbiny (inna lillahe va inna elihe razeoon) now rightly called hijab martyr. She, 31, dragged Axel W in Germany to the court after he called her a terrorist and went on insulting her religion and tried taking her scarf off in public in a playground before her son, who was playing there.

How more insulting can it be, how more heartless and insane can it be. You call a random lady playing with her kid in the park, a terrorist just because she wears a scarf and try to take it off her head (shameless you!) and then dont stop your bl**dy tongue when insulting her religion.


After she won the proceeding in the court, Axel W, frustrated of being charged a fine of 750 Euros for insulting her, jumped off and stabbed her right there in the court before all the “thekedaars” of justice 18 times. I repeat she was stabbed 18 times and that also when she was 3 months pregnant with her second child.



His husband, Mr. Okaz tried to save her and was shot by the guard there in the court accidentally. Stupid guard. He is still struggling for life.

Axel, W, 28 was said to be driven by a deep hatred of foreigners and Muslims as per the German prosecutors. He is still on trial (lets see when it ends).

This is the stage we are in…what you call it Stone stage or BEAST stage. Human has turned into an animal, well by the English definition man is a social animal..only we need to remove the “social” attribute off this title.

I just pray that the killer is not let off on any grounds.


And I pray for peace for Mrs. Sherbiny and her family. According to the reports a vast majority of people in Egypt attended her funeral prayer along with Senior Egyptian officials and German diplomatic staff.

P.S. I am not blaming any particular community.
P.P.S. Picture taken from here/ and here.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Celebrating Six months of Hijab, Alhamdulillah :)


This is the time (belated) for my favorite topic and newest passion – My hijab. This is not the only thing which I love, possess, or respect but it’s the thing which gives me freedom, sets me carefree, and make me more confident. For people new or unaware with the word, “hijab” basically means a barrier or a veil but in today’s world it is often referred as the headscarf which Muslim girls wear. However it’s just not the scarf but the full set of modest clothing which should be counted under hijab –a long discussion postponed for later, InshaAllah.

But before that it’s time to celebrate. Alhamdulillah, by the Grace of Allah, I have successfully completed my six months of donning the hijab (on 1st July, 2009), :) :) :) in public, everywhere I go :) :) :). It has certainly been the toughest ordeal I have been in. How can a simple scarf or let’s say for that matter, wearing modest clothes be a problem with anyone? Certainly, it’s not a problem for the person wearing it, but surprisingly for the people around such person.



I have been wondering and still wonder why others have to be bothered about what you wear. If it was confined till this thinking also, it was well and good. But people go a step ahead when it is concerning other’s personal/religious matters. You ask if you want to know, you question if you have doubts, you advice if you think something is wrong. I am always more than happy to spread the beautiful logic behind it. But for God sake be away and shut your mouth if you are ignorant, media-fed, unrelated to me and still want to shower me with your “oh, dear why you have to wear it” advices.



I am an independent girl, born in a very liberal family, brought up in a mini-India kind of environment. I always enjoyed the freedom of wearing what I want, voicing my likes and dislikes, I have friends whom I like, I study what I want to, and none of the above choices is affected by parental or social pressure, because I was never into them. So telling me what I should and shouldn’t is the worst try you might be making. And so when you see me in hijab all of a sudden (that’s when you haven’t met me after 31st December, 2008) please refrain from any such advices or looks rather simply ask me the reason of me going hijab-ified :).



It seems like yesterday (lol, sounds like those cheesy flashbacks) when I first took hijab. No one inspired me , I am hardly surrounded by people wearing hijab, even not much in my family, back in village they do it more out of customs than logic and/or religion, in city I have seen only strangers in hijab. No one asked me or compelled me to it, I hardly have Muslim friends, and those selective ones are also very liberal when it comes to compulsion in religion (well they are supposed to…there is no compulsion in religion –Qur’an 2:256). I dint read anything, normally I read a lot, but never it have been on religion.

Given all these facts it seems impossible as how I may be into it, not to mention the way I was before. I wasn’t blind about fashion, I was modest then also (modest as in Indian parents sense ;) ), used to dress good, no revealing clothes, no excessive jewelry. But I was in, in all sense. I was certainly into looking good, I always wanted my hair to be open, flowy and combed. Makeup which will make my color of a lighter tone or will let my features enhanced was always welcome. I avoided meetings after day long of work. So much it was there that I was pointed by my childhood friend that I keep a lot of note of presentation.



But suddenly on the morning of 29th December, Monday I woke up early at 8 (ya that’s early for me, even on a working day :D ) and decided that I will wear hijab. I was not sure why, was not sure from when and certainly not about the degree I was going to cover myself. The only thing I can remember is reading the following verses of Qur’an randomly on net a few days back, not exactly sure when:
Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do. (Qur’an 24:30)

And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers..(a list of exceptions)..and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss. (Qur’an 24:31)


The feeling of going for hijab was so strong in me that I started searching stuff on hijab online, the logic behind it, the Islamic reason, practicality of it in today’s world, the problem faced, the solutions therein and everything starting and ending on hijab; then and there itself. I was afraid but confident in a way which I can’t explain. I was going under a mix of emotions and my mind and heart were battling on something which I wasn’t so sure of. I even felt that those 3 days (29th December – 31st December, 2008) me was not me at all, it was some super-natural force which was there, an inspiration within.

I was certainly not brainwashed, how I can be by these simple two verses of the Qur’an, given I never mentioned and asked anyone about hijab before. Those 3 days was a test for me, I knew not the path I was going to follow but I was somehow sure it was right because it’s in the BOOK. I am a Muslim, always was (I believe everything on earth is Muslim by nature, again a long discussion), believed in one God, Qur’an and the Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessing be upon him); knew about hijab from birth, knew these verses long back, knew the meaning also, but it never clicked me, it never made me think the way I was thinking those three days.

All I can remember is that I mentioned it to some of my closest friends, happen to be non-Muslim and hid it from my parents, Muslim. I know an unexplainable thing but that what I did. I was afraid that my parent will think that I am under someone’s influence, I was afraid that I won’t be able to explain the strong desire and force in me guiding towards hijab. It’s not like they dint wanted me to do it but for sure it would have been more of a shock than pleasant surprise for them. To my luck and by the Grace of God my friends were with me. They supported and encouraged me towards it. Lian, Jaimy, Sangy, Dhir, Shanu I will be always grateful to you guys and words may not explain it. We shopped for full sleeves dresses, abayas and hijab together and the experiences were unique in themselves. Of course not knowing what you want and asking for the same has to be unique. One such memorable thing is the Nisha Model we saw in hijab, in nearly every shop we went and how it became a joke between us.



The real drama started from 1st when I wore it. I told my parents the night before, surprisingly, dad was more cool and believed me and once again trusted me with my freedom, but mom, like always, was a bit worried though a lot happy and proud. :) I felt for the first time I did something extra-ordinary, unexpected but desired by both of them.



When I was seen with hijab obviously a lot of eyebrows were raised, some had the guts to ask, and the others went overboard by their not-so-welcome comments. I was always more than happy to explain that hijab is not subjection, it’s a modest way of dressing, it is prescribed by Allah for both men and women, it is not cultural, it’s the same all over the world, because its Islamic, it’s to keep away the unwanted attention, my mind conveys better than my body, it’s by my will I am wearing it and I was ignorant all these days not to wear it. This should have answered the unending queries, but Alas! Man is never satisfied.

I was handed over a bunch of advices and comments that just made me laugh or look at the person from tip to toe in order to ensure myself if I was speaking to a sane human being only. Strange it may seem, but educated people handed me advices like,

· You are not getting married, are you? Then why wearing it, enjoy your days.

· Are you leaving your studies?

· Do you know that it has reduced your beauty by 60%

· You will leave it; it’s just so not practical.

· Do you have a boyfriend; did he ask you to wear it?

· You parent’s forced you into this, all Muslim parents do that.

· There are people who appear religious but are corrupt inside.



No, I am not getting married, not leaving my studies and certainly not forced into this. I am still enjoying my days and enjoying them better than before, it all depends upon your definition of enjoying. I still dress good but for myself, not for others. I don’t care how much it has reduced my beauty, I am still beautiful, like every other human being, I am beautiful to my parents, to my friends and this all is what matters. Beauty is of mind, of character, not of face, skin color or for body shape. My beauty in its full sense is not for strangers to enjoy. My boyfriend? Oh crap, do you think I will stick to the guy who won’t let me wear what I want to. And how I am inside has nothing to do with how I appear outside. If I don’t appear religious will it make me less corrupt (if at all I am so).

And in all sense it’s practical, I am studying, working and doing every normal thing from past 6 months and it has been practical WITH THE HIJAB. So in short I am an educated, free, independent, modern muslimah proudly wearing my hijab by my will. That’s the reason for this celebration.



Many things happened in past six months but nothing led me to leave my hijab , Alhamdulilalh, I am very short tempered but the confidence and joy of wearing it let me handle every unpleasant remark (like above) with patience and understanding. Hijab has not been just the head covering for me, it is now my identity, it is what made me spiritual by all means, it is what let me understand Islam in its true sense and also it is the thing which let me differentiate between people and their reason of inclination towards me, I did gain a lot of encouragement and a thumbs up but at the same time I have lost friends too. But I believe that it has happened for the good and InshaAllah will continue to happen so. :)


Talking about celebrations, here is one more thing to celebrate; Mc Donalds have finally opened in Chennai. Hers the first (busy) day pic of it, to eat on time you certainly have to wait for 2 hours in the queue. :D



P.S. All the pics, except for the last one are taken from google images.
P.P.S. I was supposed to post this on 1st july, itself but was unable to do so because of reasons uncountable.
P.P.P.S. I am feeling blue from one week, here publicly i say sorry to those who are hurt because of me, this guilt is not going to leave me, i cant mend things but certainly i am sorry. :( I hope things turn better. :(

Friday, June 26, 2009

Liberating from Right to Personal Choice : Niqab


Pre-Script : The opinion mentioned below are solely mine unless specifically mentioned otherwise. It's clear that I am not happy
and personally i don't have a grudge against Sarkozy or French Govt. till they stay away from veil and a girl's modesty.


The infamous husband of Famous Carla Bruni (of naked pic fame) and France President, Nicolas Sarkozy has recently “liberated” the “oppressed” Muslim women who wear Burqa by their will as a submission to GOD.


He has been quoted saying "The issue of the burqa is not a religious issue, it is a question of freedom and of women's dignity.” Perhaps, donning an overall, willingly, which hides your face, just because you feel you can be closer to God is not at all religious. Perhaps, living such an “uncommon” life where every other person throws you a skeptical look is slavery. Perhaps, something which protects a woman from the evil eyes and rude remarks suppresses her dignity. Perhaps, the French government has gone nuts. Perhaps, no perhaps was needed for the previous sentence.

courtesy : Miss France

France, by chance is a “secular” country. So secular, that it has gone to the extent of “not welcoming” the right to practice religion freely (and harmlessly). Which by chance, happens to be one of the most fundamental rights of humans. Sarkozy decided by his will that it throws women under a life of oppression and refrained himself by conducting a survey on how many women actually do it for other’s will. May be he was too busy to act as a hero of captivated Muslim girls. Honestly speaking, Sarkozy should ban clothes at all and stop making one by one sensationalizing comments.

Interestingly, Sarkozy is no new in the list, once a Bishop of Rochester announced that he doesn’t like niqab because there’s something wrong with it, then Dr. John R. and G. Brown, two Scotsmen said they had an issue with niqab too. The former wears a purple robe and a pointed hat and the latter comes from a country where men wear pleated skirts (no harm meant to the sentiments of people of concerning faith/ country), in words of the most courageous and outspoken Muslim woman of today's world - Yvonne Ridley.

A progressive educated Muslim girl in the veil

Many other critics are of the view that it creates hurdles in communication. In the era of ever expanding global village, where communications are done by emails, mobiles, telephones, letters etc., where radios, i-pods are the necessities of life, it can be only absurd to state the importance of face expression for communication. And if face was all that mattered, why the identity cards were invented, which need to be attested by the signature of the person who is of course not the one in the picture on the card. Infact I agree when Yvonne Ridley says that men, including Sarkozy (:D) should try to stay away from our (girl’s) wardrobes.

For some reason, I can’t understand the nature of the state itself. First they run after the turbans now they run after women to remove their modest dressing. France is a state where wearing revealing clothes, which are supposed to be enjoyed by men more than women is considered freedom. It’s a state where hiding chastity and practicing modesty is viewed as subjection to men.

with hijab w/out hijab
an excellent example

Honestly speaking, I don’t think an attire which keeps away the drooling eyes of men is a subjection to them. The subjection here is dressing to show them what they desire to see. I may sound harsh here, but that’s what the truth is. Sarkozy is right when he says it’s subjection. Yes it is subjection, subjection to the will of God. Not to the will of man. And France needs to understand this.

For the kind information of French Government, niqab is not mandatory in Islam, though it is mandatory to protect one’s modesty and there are some ways described to follow the same. Hijab (head covering) comes under it and niqab doesn’t. It is advised though. So if a Muslim women wears a niqab it means she is trying to be closer to God and avoid men and their unnecessary attraction towards her. It by no chance means that she has been tortured to it.


...and they say they need to free us

French Government must be deaf, dumb and blind not to note that no woman will go for a burqa/niqab/face veil and work, study and move in the same society where half naked girls roam around just because they are under subjection and can’t raise their voice. It must be blessed with the least analytical mind to miss the fact that it is done freely and no true Muslim can or will force it unto women. It must be the most sickular state to avoid interpreting the ayah There is no compulsion in religion... (Qur’an 2:256).


It's our choice, our freedom

French government should stop attacking on the personal freedom of people and should keep itself away from adopting such sterile and unethical measures in false name of “granting freedom”. If it really means to do so it should stop passing measurements on how short a dress of a girl needs to be.

And i wish Mr. Nicolas Sarkozy a speedy recovery (from his redesigning-girl's-closet-and-redefining-right-to-personal-choice syndrome). Get Well Soon Sir.