Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Hijab Woes

It was a well planned, supposed-to-be-surprise, get together of our whole gang-of-girls for a friend cum ex-colleague cum classmate who happened to be in town today. The only thing which ran through my mind the whole day, among the secret murmuring and kiddish surprise planning, was how the person’s reaction is going to be after he sees me. Come on don’t get me wrong, I know that we the fairer-sex are famous for being extra self- conscious when it comes to our presentation and get-ups but this was different.

I was uncertain of his reaction when he will see me in hijab suddenly after full one year. Who can imagine the girl with the flowy open long hairs to be suddenly covered in scarf neatly tucked at her head? I prepared myself for all type of questions and remarks which may follow later in the evening maslan How?? When?? What ?? You looking different..Pakka muslim.. naive.. everything.. and I prepared myself for not feeling uneasy which normally happens when I meet long forgotten friends again, and they see a complete new me with that bewildered look on their face.

But, however, as fate may have it…I was left with mouth wide open and a upset feeling gripping me when my friend suddenly declared.."Ab to tujhe koi pasand nahi karega (Now no one is going to like you).."

I was upset…come on who will be happy if you tell them they look miserable.

I was shocked…like helloo?? I am not doing this so that someone starts liking me..Neither am I gonna remove it just because no one is going to like me..I am doing this for God..and He will look in my best interest…

So did I really tell him all what flashed in my mind that very second?

No. I didn’t. I don’t have to. Honestly speaking, firstly, I am tired of advocating and supporting my decision.. wish I can just wear a scarf with the message:

“It’s my Choice..so no matter what you think…KEEP AWAY”

Can anyone really think that I put on that scarf over my head without looking at myself in the mirror?? I am aware of what I am wearing and with all its practical and social impacts, still I CHOOSE to wear it. It’s a matter of choice. A STRONG ONE. Try respecting it and if you can’t keep your judgments to yourself.

Secondly, I didn’t want to make the happy environment tensed. May be some other time, if I get a chance again.

But the whole thing really did put me off. So much for a magical piece of cloth. Sigh!


Dhir said...

"I am not doing this so that someone starts liking me..Neither am I gonna remove it just because no one is going to like me..I am doing this for God..and He will look in my best interest…"
^^ I believe this negates the need to be upset or concerned about ur luk.
But if it is that person's lack of knowledge that makes you so upset inside then, do tell him in person. Also in my honest opinion you should not be upset or angry with someone's ignorance.

fatin said...

i guess this is a common mentality....ignorance is the best policy in such situations....i appreciate ur attitude

Nyx said...

Hey my sweetest angel,

ALl I could say after reading this post is... hats-off to you for your attitude! :)

The fact of the matter is that...people do not know that they need to respect someone's views...be it religious or personal...just the way they want us to respect theirs.

As you said, you are doing this for God and he will look in your best interest is absolutely correct. In such situations where people question your wearing a scarf, if you remember why you are doing this, i guess that puts your mind to rest. People like them are best ignored. :)

Anonymous said...

Masha allah Gulshan :) I respect you for your thought!

Anonymous said...

@ Dhir

u r alive....hurray!!

"aap aaye hamare blog pe ...hamari kismat hai...kabhi ham aapke comment ko..to kabhi apne blog ko dekhte hain"

wah wah wah wah :D

jokes apart....dhir i wasn upset that i wont get any1 ..lol :D
but ya if sm1 directly comes andtell u that u luk ugly..that kinda pricks...

i know u r different...and these stuff does bother u much..
but i am much weaker than u and get hurt easily..

though i ll make sure that i ll speak to him in person..just that...that place n time were not suitable for such talk and moreover i wasn ready for that comment...

Anonymous said...

nah fatin...i dont think i can go on ignoring people lik this..specially people who r my frnds..i think its better if i can make them understand teh logic :)

Anonymous said...

hey artz :)

thanks 4 dropping by...and ya its surely the realisation of God's will and His greatness that keeping me stern on my decision :)

thnks 4 d advice ..

Anonymous said...

@nusrath...i respect myself 2 :D :P B-)

Anonymous said...

Hmmm..actually I dont know why its worn , but i have heard , that the way you show respect to God and if thats so , then probably its best to go with , coz how you look hardly matters hwne it comes to showing your love to God :)

JaLpArI - tHe MeRmAiD said...

Walaykum assalam gulgul...
i know it hurts to hear something like that form a friend....
but we cant help it can we???
i really do appreciate that u didnt let this comment spoil the party...
people say such things only coz they are ignorant... once they understand u, they wudn behave this way.. but the point is that... y shud everyone understand wat ur doin...
u dont ask an explanation to evrythin they r doin.. isnt it?
esp.. hijab.. and actualy everythin related to Islam will always be taken in a bad sense by a lot of ppl, not all, but definitely, a lot.
we can ecxplain.. once or twice.. if we feel the need to..
after that...forget it!

fatin said...

make dem understand d logic??..dat seems to be a very good thought...but its not soo simple.....firstly such comments naturally come out frm those frnds or relatives who r least interested in the commandments of Islam...secondly u can't make any 1 understand the right path if they r not willing..

Anonymous said...

@ a dreamy girl..

well! if u like i ll be more than privileged to let you know why its being worn...u see there lies a beautiful logic behind it and i am just trying to spread the word :)

and as u said its indeed a way to show respect to God...and looks collectively too, hardly matter for me :)

thanks for dropping by :)

Anonymous said...

@ jalpari aapi

walekum salaam aapa :)

its really kind of bugging and irritating when people act like this over a simple hijab..true that i never asked anything about their get up and all..how can i? when Islam ask us to respect others faith :)

waise aapi..i am soon to complete my one year of hijab..and its kind of tiring telling the same thing over and over again..that also to those who are not willing to listen.. :( and are your frnds :'(
wonder about people engaged in dawah :@

very true aapi..that people will be taking everything in islam in a bad light..but Allah himself is taking care of our religion and it's rope the Qur'an..Inshaallah things will turn out to be good for Islam and people will appreciate the faith with all their heart one day...very soon inshaallah :)

Anonymous said...

@ fatin

u should have sen me for teh first 2-3 months of hijab..i was like put n a situation where my prime aim became answering to every next person i saw...and usually the conversion ended with hurtful stares, rude remarks, and something lik " oh dear, u r brainwashed/subjected/forcefully made to this" type of comments from teh other side..

It was disgusting but i held on patience and prayed about it...things are kind of smooth but people will shayad always remain rough..

i know i cant try the same formula of lecturing with everyone..but then people also should refrain from passing comment when they are not willing to face an answer for the same..

on teh other hand..we have to reply them or else what you think how the words about islam will flow?? :)

PS the Pratsie said...

love ur stand dear,,, :) keep up wd it..

Yayathy said...

I love your thoughts and hats off for it mate. I don't know much about Hijab, people has to change in every stage of their life whether they like it or not, whether others like it or not.


Anonymous said...

@PS..thanks sis...i am doin every bit to stand by my thoughts

Anonymous said...

@yayathy..if u really wanna know about hijab..in a layman's language...just g thru my blog :P..i keep writing about this new change in me...quite elaborately :P

As far as change is concerned..yup change i the law of nature..and a good change should always be welcome :)

i can say this change in me is good..coz i can feel how better a person it is makin me ..if not stronger ;)

Anonymous said...

Lols... a scarf with a message...

but jokes aside.. If she/he really said that they dont like ur look in a scarf... they r just blind... (I have seen ur pic in WL... :D )