Friday, December 4, 2009

Beauty and the Differences

Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” so said Shakespeare. And so followed the world. And like all great legends Shakespeare died making his verse immortal, though the effects of the same were buried with him.

Beauty is one thing which is
not at all subjective and clearly doesn’t reside in the eyes of the beholder. Beauty is what models show off. It is what the top fashion designer wants on the ramp. It is how the mushrooming gyms and fitness centers making profit. It is why the girls are starving and guys are obsessed with 6 packs. It is what the mass think is beautiful – not what you perceive it to be. If you are fair, have tons of makeup, with size zero figure and the scantiest of rags on you (for females) or 6-8 packs crafted on your stomach (for males) then congrats, you just score 10/10 in the beauty most-wanted-requirements list.

I am sure many will contradict it saying, that isn’t beauty, and I have this notion or that notion. True, everyone indeed, has a different definition of beauty. I am not denying that. But hardly people have guts to live with their notion and express freely what they sense beauty as. Artist (from all fields) may be shortlisted for it. But here I am talking of the majority. The majority flows with the trend. The trend set by handful of powerful and obsessed beings.

The discrimination with black models, the sudden race of being in the Bebo size, the increasing sale of fair and lovely, the fresh stock of slim jeans, the fat-free cheese (kidding me?), the search for a fair-and-slim bride for the son of the house, etc. are just few daily life example which we all can witness. The list is just never ending and the hazards of such a beauty are even more deadly than our imagination.
Literally causing death.
Former Miss Argentina, Solange Magnano died at a Buenos Aires medical center last Sunday, after undergoing a plastic surgery procedure.

Solange, who won the Miss Argentina pageant in 1994, suffered a pulmonary embolism when liquid was being injected into her buttocks the day after she underwent a gluteoplasty (buttock implant). The liquid reportedly entered her lungs and brain, killing her instantly.

No points for guessing that the above post prompted me to write this post. Additional information: I have experienced the pain of beauty. John Keats should have defined beauty before labeling it as “a thing of joy”.

I was born with what I will prefer to call a birth mark on my fingers. Or what others call as a
deformity. It was just a translucent skin joining two fingers of my each hand. But this became a matter of my future, as what my dear simple (or among the majority) relatives thought. Doctors gained from my loss and I underwent surgery. Not once or twice but thrice in just early 13 years of my life. Things turned worse. My fingers bent, then were straightened again, though in a different way and are now decorated with surgical marks, thanks for the carelessness from the sides of doctor and complexity of the case (bones now being involved). But the worst have been the loss on my studies, time, blood, health, and the immense pain I have been into because of others notion of beauty.

And just a few days back,
under pressure from some really caring relatives and beauty-obsessed people I again agreed to undergo a 6 month long pain process - called plastic surgery - for my fingers. But thankfully, because of some sudden unexpected turns of events and self realization I dropped the idea. I am not again sacrificing myself for others’ whims. Especially now, when I am the sole responsible for my decisions. I know I am beautiful, because God made me so and because I can feel that inside.

Though the above whole narrative talks about my personal experience, I am sure many will be able to quote one or the other instance where they had to try hard to fit in the famous so called beauty’s definition. This is driving all crazy and knowingly or unknowingly we are just contributing to it. We are the one who are driving the craze further by being a part of it.

No matter however cheesy it may sound,
I will still hold that real beauty is the beauty of heart. Presentation may matter but not your skin color or the brand of your cloths. It’s just so secondary. For a quick litmus test, ask yourself how beautiful is your best friend, and if he/she will still be your best friend if he/she don’t look all that gorgeous? Will you dislike your brother or sister for being a tone darker? Will you hate the subject just because your teacher doesn’t wear a Victoria Secret? Of course, NO.

Thankfully, still we somehow value what is more important than beauty. The need is only to strengthen the feeling, and make it scope wider so as to cover not only those who are close, but everyone. If only we stop judging people on their beauty and start looking what lies beyond that. Applying our definition of beauty (the one covering our parents, siblings and teachers) will work too. And there is definitely no need to get discouraged if some people want the whole world to be painted white and crafted perfectly.

God gave us the differences so we may identify others, not to categorize them. (Essence of the Quranic Verse 49:13)

Let’s learn to respect ours and others’ differences and the world will turn to be a
beautiful place to live in.


Anonymous said...

Gul people like me will never come to know if teacher wears victoria's secret or not :O

Anonymous said...

Anyways about the incident, it is consider obscene to talk about or even luk at someone's "butt" or any female characteristic organs. i wonder why female would try to highlight those. So, i couldn't care less if those people die or any other surgical tragedy happens to them :)
Also honestly i would not be so comfortable with someone who looks like rhino weight excess of 200 pounds. So, i believe to some extent the vanity is ok but its reaching the limit of disgust these days.
I know you'd hate this but some extracts from POP by U2 =P
"If beauty is truth
And surgery the fountain of youth
What am I to do
Have I got the gift to get me through?"

JaLpArI - tHe MeRmAiD said...

Walaykum assalam
i agree that beauty SHOULD under ideal circumstances be judged by a person's heart and character.....
but that's not what is...
"Beauty is but skin deep"
and so i dont think it's absolutely wrong if a woman tries to beautify herself.....

if we go in that regards, a lot of things life are quite a waste... earning enuf to see u thru this world shud suffice us. y on earth den do we work harder to reach bigger posts... to earn more???

yes, it is foolish to some extent coz at the end of the day it doesnt matter if my best friend is ugly...
but tel me, is it gross to have a beautiful best friend???

yes, the 'bebo' figured gals make it difficult for gals like..uhmmm.. me... to feel gud bout the way we luk.. but, isnt thats wat the world's alwaz been? survival of the fittest..

that figure is the 'in' thing..
if i want to be 'in', i shud be able to be size zero..
and if i cant get that figure, or dont want to.. i shud be ready to be 'out'...
however cruel it sounds.. that is the truth...

there are a lot of things that are not NEEDED but are done for luxury, though they mite even be harmful in certain aspects...

same goes for 'beauty'
Sad but true :( :(

fatin said...

walaikum assalam :):)..another thot prevoking n beautifully worded post far as the topic goes...i agree with jalpari ..many things r done simply 2 fit in the worldly environment which anyway will get destroyed in a short period...looking beautiful is one such thing...

Anonymous said...

@ dhir..i ll gift you one...and then u ll be able to make out ;)

well a harsh comment for teh model...that's there business..and though i am against the whole concept of fashion biz..still a death is a death and i hope people can learn from this...

200 is a matter of health dhir, what i am talking is a pure insanity being of course it's disgusting...

U2..not again..waise though i hate em...i always end up admiring their capability to touch all subject on earth, past present and future... :O

Dhir said...

*Skipping Victoria's Topic*

What we are discussing is nothing new. the famous marilyn monroe have been victim of this glam bizz and lately someone by the name of Anna Nicole Smith did suicide because of some depression.
Britney spears who started as young, cute, bubblegum pop singer, popular with many was still not happy. She then turned "Woman" from girl (in all dirty sense) is now in down hill slide of her carrier, went to rehab, married a few and produces senseless songs.
I dun know if its the desire to look good or the want of money and fame that takes their lives.

We got wrong point of view here. Its not just vanity its their asset. Also this is not something followed by everyone. It is done by professional.

Anonymous said...

@ Dhir..its just not about professionals...y did i dragged myself in this was only to state that in some or the other way it is affecting us all....leaving a very few...majority is in some way obsessed with beauty...or lets say perfection...

kher professional k cases me it goes extreme i know..

Anonymous said...

it's nothing wrong in beautifying one self..but keeping beauty a measure to judge a person or going to extreme as taking surgery, medicines, even harmful cosmetics..that is where the problem lies...we dont have to be victims when we can just enjoy it..

the point i was trying t make is not that having a beautiful frnd is gross...but that beauty wont matter if its about best friend..

survival ofthe fittest.. :D par yahan to jaan lene tak ki baat aa gai....

we are taking beauty way too the end of teh day..according to me it is teh least to matter..

Anonymous said...

@ everything else beauty is also faani but it shudn matter even in day ti day life..thats all i mean..atleast not to the extent to which it matters today

Dhir said...

Beautiful people and ugly people have their own opinion on this =P

But i agree that its unnecessary to the extent it has been followed.

Yayathy said...

I really understand our feelings mate. The physic which god gave is the one which suits us the best. If someone wants to ponder it then it is going against nature. A people can use what ever technology or cosmetics to make themselves glow in the society, but they can see only the colour of their heart in the mirror. Hard to believe but true. I have seen a hostess presenting herself so well with stuffs like make ups and may be size zero, but when people saw her smoking in public, all her image fall in a well cultured country.

I appreciate your guts on taking the decision on your life by yourself.


Maryam said...

You have great work in your blog. Specially this post.......great
keep it up

Anonymous said...

@yayathy...well ya thats ma point...there are more things for us to value than bauty..and giving it so much hype is so plainly insane

Anonymous said...

@maryam..thanks maryam

Anonymous said...

Is your condition (having translucent skin between ur fingers) called syndactyly ?? if yes... If it aint restraining any of your finger movements... it probably doesnt require correction..

U took a bold stand against the repeated surgery !!

We cant change how God had made us... but we can present ourselves better without it harming our well being... I dont object the use of fair n lovely but girls n exercising to get a good physique in males... I just oppose the plastic surgeries !!

If we dont even want to present ourselves good... then its just lack of enthusiasm n apathy !!

just my opinion.

Anonymous said...

@cupid's lunatic

i dunno whats that called...i should better remember my unpronounceable accounts term then unearthly medical conditions do u guys manage :o

it's correct that it does not stop my finger movement and if i was the king i would have never agreed to even one surgery

plastic surgery is just a beginning..luk at the celebrities to what extent they go4 d sake of beauty..

presentation is what even i am really articular about...but presentation doesn require u to be all decked up..its being neat and simple..

again my opinion :)